I'm Not Alone
by LoveHateDrama
Summary: Cartman becomes obsessed with a girl in his geometry class. But love renews itself just as quickly as it leaves. CartmanXOC
1. Chapter 1

I've been in this fucking classroom for three hours listening to stupid ass Mr. Johnson drone on and on about run on sentences.

My mind is wondering when the hell this asshole will realize that no one cares, but my body is shaking like I have Parkinson's Disease.

Time seems to drag by slower and slower with each passing second, and just when I think I can't take it anymore, the bell rings.

I breathe a huge sigh of relief and gather up my things for second period.

There's a reason geometry's my favorite class, and it's not because of the teacher or her dumb ass shape fetish.

It's because of this Puerto Rican chick named Kendra.

I know, me liking a chick is a one in a million chance, but the odds of a chick actually liking me back are slimmer than that.

It's really, really fucking stupid.

Even _Kahl_'s had a girlfriend before.

When it comes to chicks, I _always _come up short.

"Aye Fat-ass, what the hell are you starin' at?" Kendra's loud voice startles me.

"I was starin' at the board, you ugly Mexican bitch!" I yell right in her face.

"I ain't even Mexican, dumb-ass!" She retorts.

"I don't give a fuck, you're still orange!"

The whole room erupts in frightened gasps.

"Don't make me kick your ass, you fat tub of shit!"

"Go ahead, you Mexican oompa loompa, I ain't scared of you!"

That was a lie. She could probably kick my ass in a heartbeat.

"That's it, bitch, your ass is mine!"

In a split second she was on top of me, punching me in the jaw so fast that her fist was a complete blur. As she mercilessly struck me again and again, I came to the realization that her chest was right in my face...and I could see down her shirt.

I felt my face turn hot with shame as I forced myself to look away.

A few agonizing moments later, the teacher finally pulled Kendra off of me and sent her down to the principal's office.  
>"After school, fat-ass." She threatens as she walks out the door.<p>

"No, Kendra." Mrs. old ass Cobble said, pushing her out of the door and slamming it dramatically.

Mrs. Cobble is so fucking old. I'm surprised the bitch hasn't turned to dust yet, 'cause with the way she looks, I'd say it ain't far in her future.  
>"Psst, Eric, you okay?" A voice asks.<p>

I turn to my right to see Butters, looking concerned.

"Yeah, Butters, I'm fine." I lie, hoping he'll turn back around and leave me alone.

No such luck.

"Wuh, a-are you sure, Eric? Y-you look like you could use a few Band-Aids."  
>"Dammit Butters, shut the hell up!"<p>

"Oh, well all right then."

The fucker turns back around to face the board.

"You need help getting up, Eric?" A cute voice asks.

I look up to see the class clown Rebecca staring at me with big blue eyes.

"Yeah."

She reaches out and grabs my hand, pulling me to my feet.

"Thanks." I mumble.  
>"No problem." She answers, taking her usual seat right behind Butters.<p>

I take my seat also.

The moment I sit down, I feel something hit me in the back of my head. I spin around to see a paper airplane on the ground.

_What the hell? _I thought to myself.

I raised an eyebrow but picked up the airplane anyway. I slowly unfolded it to see a message scribbled in green crayon.  
><em>Do you like Rebecca?<em>

I looked up at Rebecca, who was playing with her hair and scribbling something down in her notebook.

Then I looked at Kenny, who was sitting right next to her, obviously trying to get a peek at her ass. Pervert.

I quickly took out a pen and wrote in big black letters,

_No._

Then I folded the piece of paper back up and threw it at Kenny, who glared at me incredulously once he read what I wrote.

He quickly wrote something down and threw it back at me.

This time, though, I caught the airplane when it was airborne.

As I unfolded the airplane again, I came face to face with something that pissed me off.

There, written in that hideous green crayon were the words:

_You're lying. :)_

I gave him a disgusted look and wrote back,  
><em>Am not, Kenny!<br>_The paper plane went sailing through the air again. However, its flight ended abruptly, nailing Kenny right in the ear.

I tapped my fingers on the desk as I waited for a response.

The one that I got however was, to put it lightly, less than satisfying.

_I'll tell her for you. :)_

I shot an evil glare in Kenny's direction, only to see the bastard handing her a folded up sheet of notebook paper.

I slammed my fist on the desk angrily.

A couple seconds pass, and Rebecca puts a sheet of torn notebook paper on my desk.

Reluctantly, I pick it up and begin to read it.

_Do you really want to go out with me?_

I looked up at Rebecca, who was turned around facing the board, just like always.

I thought about saying no for a moment, but a damning question dawned on me.

_Do _I want to go out with her?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yes, I know, this chapter is super short. WHATEVA, WHATEVA, I DO WHAT I WANT. *clears throat* Annywayss, I thought I'd announce that yes, I'm not dead, it just takes a while for me to plan mah things out. Enough rambling, let's get on with the story, shall we? ^^**

_Oh God, my head hurts._

Everything from the balled up pieces of paper that littered the floor to the students that sat at the desks was becoming hazy with each breath I took, slowly but surely forming a cloud of fog that severely obscured my vision.

The loud, yet indistinct chatter that filled the room suddenly felt ten times louder and it kept sharply increasing in volume until finally I heard a loud BANG.

"Oh, you dropped your pencil."  
>I vaguely saw a pasty hand before everything faded to black...<p>

When I open my eyes, I'm in a blindingly bright hospital room.

The first thing out of my mouth is,

"Rebecca?"

"Oh, Eric, you're awake!"

"Mam?"

"Who's Rebecca, dear? Does my little poopsykins have a girlfriend?"

"No, mam, go away!"

"Oh...alrighty then."

When she left the room, I couldn't stop myself from mumbling, "Whore."  
>I closed my eyes.<p>

Please...please take me away from this shitty world. I don't want to be a part of it anymore.

My thoughts blended with the blackness emanating from my mind and I drifted into a deep, restful sleep.

However, the next time I open my eyes, I'm not in the hospital anymore; Instead I'm snug in my bed, clad in blue and white PJ's.

"What the hell?"

I gaze at the clock, which glares back at me with its annoyingly bright red digits.

_12:28_, it read.

"Damn it." I mumbled, rubbing my tired eyes.

I shifted over and tried to go back to sleep, only to hear excited moans and gasps coming from my mom's room.

"Oh, Goddammit!"

I leapt out of my bed, grabbed my favorite red jacket off of my dresser, and practically jumped out of my window.

I hit the grass with a THUD.

W_here the hell am I going to go?_, I thought to myself.

_Stark's Pond._ I thought, _Maybe a good walk will get my mind off of that hippie._

_You know you like her., _Said an ignorant voice in my head.

_Who? Rebecca?_  
><em>Damn right.<em>

_Dude, shut the fuck up, Kahl._

_It's not Kahl man, it's your conscience. _

_I don't know you! Leave me the fuck alone!  
>Dude, it's been a while since you've actually fucking listened to me, but yeah, I'm your conscience.<em>

_What the hell is a conscience?_

_The voice in your head that tells you right from wrong._

_What the hell, liking her isn't right, dumbass, she's a Goddamn slut!_

_Yeah, right. You know damn well you like her._

_Nuh-uh._

_Just admit it already. Stop lying to yourself._

_Fuck..._

There's a couple seconds of silence between me and my 'conscience', but it feels like an eternity.

Suddenly, the annoying voice fills my thoughts again.

_Well, are you gonna do it or not?_

_Give a guy a minute, jeez!_

That's it...I have to do this...I have to tell her...

**A/N: DUN...DUN...DUN!**

**Cartman: Goddammit, you can't leave mah confession hanging in the breeze! **

**Me: Oh yes I can, I'm the author. Anyhoo, third chapter coming soon.**

**Cartman: GODDAMMIT YOU SONS A BITCHES YOU CAN'T-**

**Me: *ends A/N***


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey everyone, I know it's been a while, but I hope nobody went cuckoo and did anything stupid. Anyhoo, please forgive me for the delay, I have like four fics to tackle and I've been doing the best I can. Also, if you all would R&R that would totally kick some major ass.**

I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out my sleek black iPhone. By the time I had dialed her number, I was already freaking out and shaking like crazy.

She finally picked up on the fifth ring.

"Hello?"

"You awake?"

"Na, I'm talking in my sleep."  
>"Dammit, stop it!"<p>

"Look, Eric, it's almost three in the morning, what do you want?"

_Damn, I didn't realize it was already that late._

"N-nothing. I-I'll see you in school tomorrow."

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're acting all fucking weird."

"N-nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

"That's a damn lie! If nothing was wrong, you wouldn't be calling me at three in the fucking morning!"

"Yeah...about that...there's kinda something I have to tell you."

"What?"

_Come on, dude. You've got the balls to do this._

"I...I kinda like you."

There was dead silence on the other end of the phone.  
>"Uh..excuse me?"<br>"I said I-nevermind..."

"You...you like me?"

"I-uh...um...fine, I admit it. I like you."

"Meet me at Stark's Pond in 10 minutes."

"What the fuck? Why?"

"See ya."

And with that, she ended the call. _What the hell does she want me to go to Stark's Pond for?_, I thought curiously.

[Stark's Pond, 3:12 AM]

"Dammit, where the hell is she?" I hissed, checking the time on my phone for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"Hey, Eric." Her deep voice startled me.

She grabbed me by my shoulders and slowly spun me around to meet her gaze.

"Calm down, it's just me."

"Oh..."

"Yeah, DUH, who the fuck were you expecting, Judge Judy?"

"Dude, stop it..."

"Stop what? The fuck did I do besides get dressed to come and see your ass! I'd much rather be at home, you know! It's fuckin' Santa Claus degrees below zero!"

"You're a chick, dude. Chicks are supposed to be..."

"Lame?"

"Yeah, lame."

"I ain't lame, bitch, do I look lame?"  
>"No, and that's the problem."<br>"How the fuck is that a-"

I smashed my lips against hers. I don't know if it was to shut her up or because I liked her so much, but at this point I didn't really care.

We sat there with our lips intertwined for a couple of seconds before she pulled back, looking both surprised and pleased.

"Eric? What the-?"

"Cartman? Rebecca? What are you doing here?"

We turned to see Kyle standing next to us, looking lost and confused.

"Nothing, Jew. What are you doing here?"

"I came to get away from things, you know? My parents argue nonstop all night, then they end up having sex, then Ike starts crying and my mom yells from her stupid little fantasy world, "Kyle, Kyle, take care of your little brother, mommy's busy.""

"My parents fucking contradict themselves. My little brother Daniel is such an asshole, and he makes all these fucking messes and when my dad gets home, he starts yelling at me for what _Daniel _did! You know, I tell him, "Well, maybe Daniel needs to start cleaning up after himself." And all they have to fucking say is, "Yeah, Daniel needs to learn to clean up after himself or he's gonna get his ass whipped." Then five seconds later, he's yelling at me again like, "LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT! I COME HOME AND THE HOUSE IS A FUCKING PIGSTY! YOU'RE THE OLDEST, TAKE CHARGE!" Seriously, dude? What the fuck happened to you wanting Daniel to clean up after himself, you hypocritical bitch!" Rebecca snapped angrily, flicking off an imaginary shape in the air she had imagined to be her dad.

"Aw, dude, I'm sorry that sucks Cartman's big fat hairy balls."

"No, Kahl, correction, _Rebecca _sucks my big fat hairy balls."

"Cartman, nobody wants to suck your balls. Nothing's changed, fat-ass, get over yourself."

Cartman looked over at Rebecca, who shook her head in agreement with Kyle.

Cartman narrowed his eyes and looked back at Kyle, who was glancing at Rebecca with a smug grin on his face.

"Oh, well _EXCUSE me_, Kahl, at least I have a girlfriend!"  
>"Yeah right, dude. You <em>wish <em>you had a girlfriend!"

"Nuh-uh! I _so _have a girlfriend, Kahl!"  
>"Yeah right. Who's your girlfriend? Butters?"<p>

"No, dumb-ass, she's standing right next to you!"

"You-you guys go out?"

Rebecca smiled warmly at Kyle. "Yeah."  
>"Haha...told ya!"<p>

"Cartman, there's something I need to tell you."  
>"Ooo, what's that, Kahl?"<br>"You were totally, one hundred percent right."

"Haha...what?"  
>"You won...you were totally accurate about being able to get a girlfriend, and I've just been frustrated because I didn't get one first. I want you to enjoy your new relationship, because you really impressed me with your ability, and I'm proud to have you as a friend."<p>

"...YOU SON OF A BITCH KYLE, I HATE YOU!"

"Kyle, you butt faced gorilla, what the hell did you do that for?"  
>"Cartman can't stand when I admit defeat."<br>"THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST ADMIT DEFEAT, DAMMIT!"

"I was just trying to-"  
>"HELL NO! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, KYLE! YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL MONDAY!" Rebecca shrieked as she disappeared into the sheer blackness of the night.<p>

**A/N: Oh snap! FIGHT!**

**Sorry, you'll have to wait until I get to it...It might be a few chapters, since I'm probably going to write about Kyle's weekend in the next chapter.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading and double thanks for reviewing.**

**Awesomeness is upon you!**


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